Hunger: the V'KAR series Page 6

  And it was driving her mad. She could feel him seeking her and it was taking every ounce of mental strength she possessed to keep a barrier raised against his questing mind. She was afraid to sleep, to let her guard down. She couldn’t afford for him to find her. Not until she’d come to terms with what had happened.

  “You never mentioned this,” she whispered to herself, thinking of Pandora.

  “You never asked,” came a reply from behind her.

  Resa whirled to find Pandora smiling at her. “This is lovely,” Pandora said as she stepped up beside Resa. “Quiet. Peaceful.”

  “He bit me,” Resa said in a flat tone, fixing her eyes on the water again. When Pandora didn’t respond, she turned toward her. “Did you hear me?”

  “Yes.” Pandora didn’t turn her eyes from the water and sky.

  “He fucking bit me!”

  “Yes.”

  “And now he’s…he’s inside me. I can feel him and I know if I let my guard down for a minute—”

  “Yes, he will find you.”

  “In other words I’m totally fucked.”

  Pandora finally looked at her. “In your vernacular, he is just as fucked.”

  Her answer surprised Resa. “Excuse me?”

  “Had you stayed you would have discovered the answer for yourself. What happened between you and Constantine is unprecedented.”

  “Unprecedented?”

  Pandora smiled slightly. “You were correct, in a manner of speaking, about him being inside you. While he may have taken from you, he also gave in return. What happened between you is as old as our people. It is an act of binding, of mating.”

  Resa’s eyes widened and her heart gave a funny jolt in her chest. “What do you mean?” she whispered.

  “Exactly what I said. Whether either of you asked for or wanted it, you are mated, irrevocably linked.”

  Suddenly Resa wanted to sit down. “Then I really am fucked. Pandora, I can’t be mated to him. I’ve…I’ve killed so many of his people. They hate me. As much as the Alliance hates them, they hate me. If he really is some crown prince…”

  “That he is,” Pandora said. “Heir to the Throne…unless…”

  “Unless what?”

  “Unless the Emperor dies while the crown prince is in exile, then succession will go to his younger brother.”

  Resa frowned at the answer and rubbed her hands over her face, closing her eyes and pressing her fingertips over her tired eyes. “Just exactly why is he in exile anyway?”

  A split second before she heard his voice, she felt him close by. “That is a long tale.” Constantine’s voice made her jump, her hands flying away from her face. She looked around for Pandora. There was no sign of her.

  “Why’re you here?” She steeled herself, resisting the inclination to throw herself on him.

  “Why did you run away?”

  “You bit me!”

  Constantine looked away briefly. “Resa, I vow to you upon my life that I had no intention of that happening. Believe me when I say to you that binding myself to you is by far the single most foolish act of my life.”

  “Well thanks a fucking lot!” She stomped past him and headed for the house. Nothing like being told that you’re a horrible mistake in someone’s life. That you’re not good enough for them and they see what was probably the most significant night of your life as their supreme act of foolishness.

  Humiliation was too painful to bear. Easy to let that unwanted emotion mutate into anger. Anger she could deal with. By the time she stomped into the house she was halfway to a full-blown case of rage.

  Constantine followed and stuck his hand out to stop the door as she slammed it behind her.

  “Go away,” she snarled and marched to the kitchen.

  “Resa, we must talk.”

  She whirled on him, eyes flashing and fists clenched at her sides, her body tight with tension. “I think you’ve said plenty, your Highness.” She felt the pang of shame that stabbed him and took small satisfaction in it, refusing to allow herself to weaken at the contrite expression on his face.

  Constantine approached her slowly, his hands palm out to his sides. “I will not retract my words, Resa. Binding myself to you was rash and foolish. Politically. Once discovered it will erode my position, cost me support, and that could cost my people more than I care to consider.”

  Resa leaned back against the counter, unwilling to bend even though she knew he spoke the truth. It was political suicide for him to be with her. They were enemies and none of either of their people would ever support such a union. Look what it’d cost her. She was an outcast, shunned and hunted by her people.

  She couldn’t wish that for him and found herself amazed that she would feel that way. Until recently they were mortal enemies. No…now she couldn’t look at him without feeling that she was seeing the man who completed her.

  It scared the living shit out of her. If she was smart, she’d do everything she could to drive him away. It wouldn’t save her skin, but it might save his.

  “I see your point and completely understand.” She modulated her voice with power she’d learned to control long ago, projecting the image of what she wanted him to see and feel as she spoke. She had no idea if it would work on him, but it was worth a try.

  “What happened was…well, it was just one of those things. There’s some kind of chemistry between us and we let it take control and it was a mistake. So for all our sakes, Constantine, just turn around and leave. Forget about me and what happened. I’ll find a way to disappear, go somewhere neither your people nor the Alliance can find me.”

  “No!” He’d traversed the distance between them and had his arms wrapped around her before she could move. “Resa, no,” he said more softly. “That is not the answer. Not for either of us.”

  “Yes it is,” she argued, trying to staunch the painful swell of emotion that threatened her shaky control.

  “No.” His hands moved up to cup her face. “I need you.”

  “Don’t,” she whispered. “Please, don’t make this harder than it has to be. I’m a liability to you, Constantine. A danger. You have to walk away.”

  “You’re wrong.” He followed when she pulled away and hurried from the room.

  She went outside onto the deck, staring out across the bay. Constantine came up behind her and turned her to face him. “Listen to me. Setting aside all emotion, I say to you in complete honesty that you are of great value to me and all my kind. Think, Resa. Inside you are secrets of the Alliance, information that can be used to destroy them.”

  “You think too highly of me,” she argued. “Bram never let me get close enough to the ruling Council for me to know their plans or strategies. I’m a foot-soldier. Just another weapon in their arsenal.”

  Constantine opened his mouth as if to respond then closed it and tilted his head back slightly. His eyes closed briefly then abruptly he opened his eyes and leveled them on her.

  “There are things you don’t know about yourself, Vânător.”

  Resa stiffened at his choice of words and something sharp and fearful slid down her spine. “Like what?”

  “Like who your parents really were and what you really are,” Pandora’s voice came from the doorway, making Resa jump. Even Constantine started and pivoted to face Pandora.

  “I should have recognized your hand at play,” Constantine said.

  Resa looked from him to Pandora. “You two know each other?”

  “Indeed,” Pandora replied.

  When the silence grew too thick for Resa to bear, with Constantine and Pandora locked eye-to-eye and neither even batting an eyelash, she stepped up beside Constantine.

  “Someone want to tell me what the hell’s going on? Pandora?”

  Constantine responded without breaking eye contact with Pandora. “Resa, meet Panzh DreeAnn Fehr Adahalla Birahn, Syfeth la Sybelle De’Fane V’Kar.”

  Resa’s eyebrows rose then fell into a frown. “You want to run that by me one m
ore time?”

  He looked at her then at Pandora, with one elegant brow arched. “More trickery, SyFeth?”

  Pandora’s eyes narrowed fractionally and Constantine smirked. “As I suspected. Resa, this woman you know as Pandora is, in reality, Mother Superior of the Sybelle De’Fane V’Kar, the Sisterhood.”

  “You’re a…a nun?” Resa asked Pandora, eliciting a laugh from Constantine.

  “What?” Resa asked. “You said she was the Mother Superior.”

  “Indeed she is,” Constantine replied. “But they are far from nuns. The woman you see standing before you is not only the oldest of all V’Kar, but the mother of our race in a manner of speaking.”

  Resa looked at Pandora. “And you’re in exile too?”

  That provoked another laugh from Constantine, earning him a sharp look from Pandora. “She comes and goes at will, Resa. You see, the Sisterhood controls the Gate, enabling SyFeth to travel between galaxies at her discretion.”

  Resa held up her hands. “Okay, this is getting really out there. I think we should take this inside, if you don’t mind. I could use a drink, or smoke, or handful of pills or…something.”

  She didn’t wait for agreement, but headed to the house.

  Constantine watched her go then turned to Pandora. “Has your meddling not cost our people enough, SyFeth? What game do you play here and of what interest is this woman to your aims?”

  Pandora regarded him without comment and after a moment his eyes brightened. “Ah yes, now I see. She is another of your experiments. Which explains the presence of the Vox Narr within her. Azarth has been vexed trying to figure that out. She is not simply a creation of the Alliance, is she?”

  “Tread carefully, Prince,” Pandora finally spoke. “You do not want to cross swords with me on this. And there is no need in this instance, for antagonism. In this we stand united for a common goal.”

  “And that is?”

  “The propagation of our race.”

  Constantine’s eyes narrowed marginally. “And for such an accomplishment you are choosing to promote the D’Harahn?”

  “Pureblood,” she said simply. “Wise it would be for you to accept this honor without question. It would be an easy matter for my allegiance to shift if the cooperation I require is not given.”

  Constantine did not comment. He knew all too well the power wielded by the Sisterhood. Even the J’Zhan would not cross swords with the Sybelle De’Fane V’Kar. He inclined his head a fraction and she nodded in acknowledgement. Pulling a small device from the pocket of her flowing skirt, she keyed in a code.

  A swirling eddy of air with the quality of liquid appeared between them. Raising her hand in farewell, she took a step toward him. And vanished, along with the distortion in the air.

  Constantine blew out his breath and looked in the direction of the house. Suddenly it was more imperative than ever that he gain Resa’s trust.

  Chapter Seven

  Resa stood in front of the window. Her eyes took in the landscape but her mind was occupied elsewhere. Her original assessment of nothing being as it seemed was mild compared to the reality of things. Exactly what was going on and how was she involved?

  “I will attempt to explain,” Constantine’s voice came from behind her.

  She turned to face him. “So, are we finally back to those truths you promised?”

  “Yes. But first…” He approached her slowly and with infinite gentleness ran one hand along the side of her face and behind her head, pulling her into his kiss.

  It was the thing she wanted the least and the most. Least because she had no power to resist him. Her need for him was a fire in her blood, making her deaf, dumb and blind to all else. It frightened her, the way her need for him eclipsed all else.

  “Beloved,” he whispered against her lips.

  Those whispered words breeched the last of her defenses. Her lips parted beneath his, welcoming his questing tongue.

  It was a kiss that promised everything she’d ever dreamed of and more. Passion, tenderness, love. Union. Her arms moved of their own accord to loop around his neck, fingers tangling in his silken hair as her body pressed into his.

  The kiss deepened, his lips slanting across hers as his tongue explored her mouth. Time ceased to matter. She had no thought to end the kiss, or take things a step further. For now this was all that mattered, being pressed against him, feeling his heart beating against her as they lost themselves in the kiss.

  His body moved, swaying as if to an inner beat and she moved with him. Still locked in the kiss, they danced. Resa was scarcely aware of her feet on the floor. Nothing mattered. Here was completeness.

  Constantine drew back, cupping her face to stare into her eyes. “I know you want answers, and I vow to you that I will disclose all information I possess to you. But not now. Let it wait. For now, simply be mine and let me love you.”

  “Love?” The word blurted out of her mouth before she could stop it.

  Constantine smiled gently. “Here is a truth you can count on, Resa. No matter how foolish our binding may be on a political level, I could never bind myself to a woman I did not love.”

  “You…love me?” She shook her head. “Want me? Yes, I can feel the truth of that. But love? How could you possibly love me?”

  “Your words are those of a woman who has no real love for herself,” he replied.

  Resa broke away from him. He’d hit too close to the mark. How could she love herself? She was a murderer. She’d been fooled and tricked every step of the way through her life, bought into a lie and paid homage to a group whose motives were based upon self-interest and greed. What she’d thought was a holy charge had been nothing but a fragile façade, constructed to cover the true goals of the Alliance. The unholy Alliance. A group bent upon the genocide of the V’Kar.

  Constantine pulled her back to him when she tried to turn away. “No, you will not turn away from me, Resa. You will face me. Face yourself and what you’ve done. And we will put that past to rest where it belongs, for as surely as I stand before you, you are as much a victim of the Alliance as any of my kind who have lost their lives to this war. You will not assume responsibility for their motives or their deceptions.”

  “I should have seen the truth,” she argued. “How could I not have seen it, Constantine? How could I go through life so blindly, believing in something so strongly that I was willing to kill for it?”

  “Your actions were those of a dutiful daughter. We are all victims of our societies and families, Resa. We live what we are taught to believe as truth, and act to preserve what we’ve been made to believe is the just and true way. Having been so duped, you are relieved of responsibility. The burden of guilt belongs to the Alliance. Not you. Only if you persist in your role as killer for them, knowing that they speak false, will you bear guilt for the life you take.”

  Resa searched his eyes, needing to see in their violet depths that he believed what he said. That he didn’t hold her accountable. That she was worthy of forgiveness.

  She found it. That and more. In his eyes and his words was truth.

  “I’ll help you destroy them,” she whispered with determination.

  He nodded and stroked her face gently. “In time. But for now we are safe and alone. Let us not waste this moment. Be mine, Resa. My mate, my beloved.”

  Resa sighed in surrender when he lowered his head and grazed her lips with his, then trailed his lips along her face, down to her throat where her pulse pounded. His hands slid slowly across her shoulders then down to her waist where they tightened, pulling her firmly against him.

  His lips sought hers and she eagerly accepted the kiss, lifting her arms to encircle his neck, pressing against him and deepening the kiss. At length she pulled away, her breath coming quicker and her skin flushed. “I want you.”

  He smiled at her, running his hands around to cup her ass and pull her against him, his erection pressing against her belly. “And you shall have me. But this time without the hu
rry. Take off your clothes, darling. I want to look at you.”

  He released her and moved to take a seat on the sofa. Resa saw the hunger in his eyes and it worked to restore her, freeing her to be who she was. With him she didn’t have to pretend. She smiled and sauntered to the stereo, selecting a sexy, slow track.

  He watched with growing hunger. When music filled the room, she turned to face him and began to dance, her lithe body swaying and grinding to the beat. She inched her tank top up to the bottom of her breasts, and as she pulled it up over her breasts she pivoted, presenting him with her back. Holding the top over her breasts, she turned again, executing a seductive roll of her hips that had her sinking almost to the floor, knees bent and splayed out to the sides. He felt his erection straining at the fabric of his slacks, imagining her performing that same move, naked and with him beneath her.

  As she rose, she peeled the top away to bare her breasts and dropped it with a flourish. Her hands moved to her breasts, cupping and caressing, thumbs circling her nipples as her hips continued to grind and roll. His eyes moved from her breasts to her hips, her movements driving the hunger higher.

  Resa slowly unfastened the button of her jeans then equally as slowly unzipped them. Whirling so that her back was to him again, she began to peel the jeans down, revealing a narrow strip of black material that circled her hips. An adjoining strip disappeared into the cleft of her ass. His eyes followed the path of the jeans, passion expanding with each new inch of skin revealed to him.

  When the jeans slithered down her legs to puddle at her feet, she bent forward, the movement presenting him with a view of her luscious ass, the thin strip of the thong cutting across her anus and joining with a narrow triangle of lace that did little to cover her sex. Need that was already burning within him developed sharp claws, cutting into him with razor sharpness.

  She straightened and stepped out of the jeans, turning to cross the room to him. Her eyes locked with his and she leaned over, her luscious breasts hanging full and inviting as she deftly worked the buttons on his shirt. The moment she parted the material to bare his chest, she lowered her mouth to his skin. Wet and warm, her tongue traced a trail of fire from his neck to his waist. All the while her hands worked at his belt and the zipper of his pants.